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Poll: How many inches from the midday sun will today's heat feel like?

This non-sensationalized stock image is also a metaphor for today's heat.

This non-sensationalized stock image is also a metaphor for today's heat. Getty Images/iStockphoto

Make no mistake, folks: Friday will be a classic hot one in the Twin Cities. 

The National Weather Service has issued an excessive heat warning due to high temperatures creeping toward 95 degrees. Today's true menace will be our ol' foe the heat index; that sweltering badboy is set to crack 110! 

And that got exactly one of us thinking: Does the English language possess a simile or metaphor to accurately convey just how darn hot it'll be? A deep research dive determined that the sun, which can reach temps as high as 27 million degrees, is indeed hot. That much wasn't lost on Rob Thomas and Santana, whose 1999 mega-hit "Smooth" etched the perfect adaptable descriptor for heat waves onto the hearts and minds of millions. 

So, if we're suspending combustion disbelief and taking some Thomasian poetic license, tell us: Just how many inches from the midday sun will today's scorching weather feel like?

How many inches from the midday sun will today's heat feel like?
1 inch
2 inches
3 inches
4 inches
5 inches
6 inches
7 inches ;-)
8 inches
9 inches
10 inches
I'm not sure how many inches
What am I doing with my life?
Literally billions of inches
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Do your best to beat the heat out there, our lil Spanish Harlem Mona Lisas -- things will cool down into the mid-70s from Saturday through Monday. Now take us out Rob and Santana!