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On making deals with devils

DFL U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar wants to make a deal with Donald Trump. You cool with that?

DFL U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar wants to make a deal with Donald Trump. You cool with that? Associated Press

Hear that? 

Hear all that buzz about DFL U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar? About how she should run for president? And win? 

It's everywhere these days. This rundown of tweets was not hard to assemble. 

Hell, Amy Klobuchar's so hot she got what passes for an "endorsement" from the assholes at City Pages.

Amy Klobuchar's officially having a "moment," getting shined up in many corners, rolling along to a momentum building since she made Brett Kavanaugh throw the worst temper tantrum at a confirmation since... well, probably since the time Brett Kavanaugh got confirmed

And it's fun for Minnesotans to have one of ours getting famous, loved, and thanked and praised. And to have her in high demand. Take, for example, Amy's appearance a few days ago on 'This Week,' the ABC Sunday morning talk show.

Under questioning by the show's banally genial haircut, George Stephanopoulos, Klobuchar acquitted herself nicely on a number of topics. Big ones, like Robert Mueller and climate change, both of which pose existential threats. You'll love her answers on those. 

And like any decent attorney, Klobuchar knows how to slice a line she came up with four hours ago as if it just came to her, a couple seconds ago, by golly, George.

It's not electrifying. But there's a charisma to Amy's calm insight, served with a side of folksy charm -- it's like tater tot hotdish with a cup of ranch dressing "in case there's too much paprika for ya'." [Wink.]

Klobuchar was motoring right along when the topic turned to Donald Trump's immigration policy, which is, just in case you took your eye off the ball to eat turkey, a fucking abomination against the laws of man, woman, child, nature, and common sense, and disturbingly familiar to anyone who has ever read a book. (Trump has not.)

[Note: Amy's comments were issued before Trump's goons tear-gassed misfortunate children and their moms... but came some months after Trump's goons started locking misfortunate children and their moms in cages.]

And so Amy says to George, she says to him: "My mom taught second grade until she was 70 years old..."

And then she tells a cute saying her mom usedta' use, and it introduces some pretty pragmatic thinking about how immigration relates to agriculture and industry in this country. (Spoiler alert: it's good for both. Pretty much required.) 

George then removes the comb from his hair (we assume; he was not pictured at the time) and asks Klobuchar about Donald Trump's demand for a "border wall," that fictive symbol which would be about as good at stopping immigrants as appointing the Chesire Cat as the Secretary of Homeland Security.

"Are you open to any negotiation at all on this border wall funding?" Stephanopoulos asks.

"We have tried to negotiate with him," Klobuchar says, referring to a proud sexual assaulter who once pretended to write a book about negotiating and left his ghost-writer so shaken the man describes him as "a scared child" whose "worldview is narrow, dark and deficit-driven."

Sorry to interrupt, Senator Klobuchar. You were saying?

"But he won't take yes for an answer," she went on.

Awww, Amy, that's adorable. And by "that," we mean your folksy saying, and we do not mean your willingness to cut an immigration deal with a man who marched his army toward Mexico to pick a fight with desperate refugees on the eve of an election. Later Sunday, not long after you said "wall funding" means "border funding," plus "personnel, a whole grouping of things that protect security," those migrants were shot with tear gas, run off. And here is what your fellow negotiator had to say about that disgusting scene.

"They were being rushed by some very tough people and they used tear gas. Here's the bottom line: Nobody is coming into our country unless they come in legally."

We wish you the best of lucky, Amy, at protecting "security" -- whatever that means; maybe ask those women running from tear gas? -- and at dealing with the devil -- we know what that means; ask Faust -- and at asking forgiveness from the kind of people who turned out to vote (for your party!) earlier this month. They know what this means.