On Thursday, St. Paul Twitter user @joshnorthsouth did something very brave.
He admitted he did “not care” for the spoon and cherry sculpture in the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden.
What's your controversial local opinion? Mine is that I don't care for the spoon and cherry.— Josh (@joshnorthsouth) May 23, 2019
This is, of course, blasphemy in these here parts, and a really easy way to get yourself labeled as uncultured. There’s something about living in the Twin Cities – maybe it’s a sense of belligerent pride, or defensiveness against bigger, hipper cities – that makes it hard to complain about stuff everyone likes, or like stuff that everyone complains about.
If you don’t like the spoon and cherry, are you even from here?
But it was also strangely liberating… and contagious. Before long, Josh’s tweet was rewarded with another hot take. Winter here isn’t that bad. People are just “whiny.”
And another. The state hockey tournament is overrated.
And then, one by one, as if the tweet had freed them from some spell of social acceptability, hundreds of commenters jumped in and offered their own takes. Glamdoll donuts are “overrated and overpriced.” Duluth is “a trashcan of a city.” They can’t stand Lizzo. Or Bob Dylan. Or Prince.
A good many of users took the time to say either we have too many craft breweries, our craft breweries are garbage, and/or Surly, in particular, is garbage.
Which Surly wasn’t exactly wild about.
It wasn’t all hate. Some people jumped in to declare their love – or at least their indifference – to the regular subjects Minnesotans use for target practice. The Mall of America is great and not a commercial hellscape full of tourists. The traffic is relatively fine. One even said they liked the look of the Spruce Tree building in St. Paul, and that thing looks like a chunky Christmas decoration made out of bathroom tile.
As it dawned on all the participants that in this magical circle, everything was fair game and nothing was sacred, some true scorching cropped up.
Totchos are terrible.— yellow son (@Yell0wSmith) May 23, 2019
I got my new drivers license quickly and efficiently.— Daniel Wolter (@DJWolter) May 23, 2019
I like the aesthetic of the Vikings stadium.— Ladies, We Riot at Midnight (@InAWomansWorld) May 23, 2019
I think people who get really locked in on St. Paul or Minneapolis are fighting a dim, unimportant, battle.— Hans (@hansweyandt) May 23, 2019
I’m sure they’re nice, but I’d rather listen to an infinite loop of goats yelling than Trampled by Turtles.— Sassy von Straddler (@SassyvStraddler) May 23, 2019
Never has such a chain of contrarian attitudes been assembled in the home of Minnesota Nice (which was in turns deemed to be passive aggressive, frigid, and nonexistent.) There was rancor and needling and pointless fighting, and people were… enjoying it.
It was like a breakthrough in the middle of a fraught therapy session. Everyone was finally getting rocks off their chests, enjoying the giddy weightlessness, even bonding with their cantankerous neighbors.
Sorry, I’m going thru and liking the shit out of this thread.— Anita (@anitalynns) May 24, 2019
I feel like everyone on this magical thread should organize a big BBQ this weekend— John Maycroft (@JohnMaycroft) May 24, 2019
Duluth *is* better tho.— Tim (@Waffle_Otter) May 24, 2019
Everyone knew that eventually, the magic would end. They would go back to enjoying the hype or staying quiet about not enjoying it. But for one, brief, shining moment of honestly, we saw one another as the cranky people we truly are.
And we all laughed at Pizza Luce.
dan you're getting a lot of love on this tweet— Josh (@joshnorthsouth) May 23, 2019