Looking for a place to stay that is technically not outside, but offers none of the comfort you expect from a human dwelling?
Has Craigslist got the place for you!
Unless it's already been snatched up. About a week ago, this beauty of an "apartment" hit the virtual market, via a listing that puts a $300 monthly price tag on the property opportunity of a lifetime. And by "of a lifetime," we mean it's 50-50 odds you will die down there.
Technically, the renters here aren't offering an "apartment," or even a "room," and they acknowledge as much in the Craigslist post.
"Hello," it begins cheerfully, "we are renting beds in our basement to single adults who are students or working professionals."
And by "students or working professionals," the renters clearly mean "child laborers as depicted in Charles Dickens novels." Perhaps they imagine that upper-middle-class mice have started going to college. Do spiders have jobs?
Imagine bringing your fellow co-eds or colleagues -- God forbid, a date -- back to this place, inviting them to sit on the bed, explaining that your "roommate" Gary would be watching whatever happens from his own bed, 10 feet away.
On its face, this place presents a dilemma. Do you take the bed in the middle of the cement floor? Or the one over by that half-painted wall? Wall bed is farther from those pipes, sure. But also farther from the door, in case you feel the need to make a hasty escape... every few nights.
Here's a good close-up shot of that bed by the wall. This could be yours for $300, plus $100 nonrefundable deposit.
The unit has a "shared living area," the ad says -- spelling-out the obvious, while utterly abusing the word "living" -- and "shared bathroom with showers." This latter feature isn't pictured. For peace of mind, you may allow yourself to imagine a curtain.
"No curfew," says the ad. A thoughtful allowance, that. You might opt to stay out late every night if the place you came home to sleep in made you think you were already in a nightmare.
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