"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, here we are."
So begins a four-minute, 42-second dive down the gopher hole of Republican politics in Minnesota, courtesy of a video unveiling the scene at a fundraiser for Hennepin County Sheriff Rich Stanek. The video was uploaded to Facebook live by a woman named Sheri Auclair (more on her later!), as highlighted by Bluestem Prairie blogger Sally Jo Sorenson.
The incumbent sheriff appears in the video for just a few seconds. He is drinking a bottle of water and seems to know what's going on -- well, as much as anyone obsessed with Hillary's emails could know what's going on.
Other partiers are ... less composed. Auclair, for one, introduces her Halloween get-up as "MAGA Woman, here to save the world from the liberal left," when in fact it looks like she could use some saving from whatever it is she's been imbibing.
"It's fabulous," says the woman holding the camera. (It is not fabulous.)
"Let's go find the sheriff!" Auclair says, seizing the camera and taking viewers for a boozy little walk around the corner.
"I'm here, Facebook Live," Stanek says, instantly brandishing that charisma that's won him three elections in this county.
"What a great party," Stanek says, a bold-faced and on-the-record lie which we at City Pages wish were an impeachable offense.
"I'm here to protect our sheriff," Auclair says, holding up her MAGA shield and leaning into Stanek.
"She's protecting the protectors," Stanek says, chuckling at his own line.
[Note: How bad was the dialogue at this soiree if this is the shit they thought needed to be broadcast to the world?]
The Stanek... moment soon ends. "Love ya," he tells Auclair, as they part. Now's about the time we need to point out that Sheri Auclair briefly became a national celebrity in 2016 when she was depicted wearing an American flag as a shawl at Donald Trump's Republican National Convention.
That's 1) horrid fashion, 2) against United States flag code, and 3) a really good idea for a "sexy patriot" costume, if you're looking for a last-minute concept.
After Rich's scene, we're treated to several minutes of boozy banter among his supporters. Some highlights:
- "I'm going to spark lives with everybody within my facility."
- A detailed discussion about a chili cook-off.
- A neat little toy that makes it look like a Minnesota Vikings player is having anal sex with a Green Bay Packers player. Is it consensual? Why are they still wearing their uniforms? Helmets? Why do these people think this thing is so funny? All questions remain unanswered.
- "Oh this is awful," says the host, at last uttering the first defensible statement in this whole video.
- "I went to the Middle East and I got myself an Egyptian princess."
The guy who says that last line (and brought this rape-y little football toy) is identified as "Rick Rice." He's the national committeeman for the Republican Party of Minnesota. Seems like a cool guy. Fun at parties!
Feidt calls the clip a trip into the "Jungian collective unconscious of MN Republicans." Sorenson calls the video "cray," and observes that Auclair is wired tight within GOP political activism in this land.
We at City Pages would like to offer some advice which this video makes obvious to the discerning viewer: If you wouldn't want to be at someone's party, you shouldn't be in their party.