Something unusual was afoot on Amy Klobuchar’s Twitter page Tuesday night.
It was apparently important for the senator to let us know that when she was speaking at the Democratic National Convention, she was doing so not just passionately, but barefootedly.
Behind the scenes of my speech from last night: when a convention is virtual, who needs shoes? pic.twitter.com/1uasNcPYou— Amy Klobuchar (@amyklobuchar) August 18, 2020
Now, this isn’t outrageous stuff. (I was personally more shocked when I once saw a pic behind Hillary Clinton’s podium with what I can only describe as the world's shortest pair of heels.) In a saner world, this could have registered as a wholesome moment, a humanizing look at how working remotely allows us to be more casual, even a commentary on the physical discomfort women ordinarily endure for the sake of fashion and public acceptability. After all, feet are the windows to the... sole.
Instead, hornt Twitter got right to work.
There's no way you don't know what you're doing here— Kyle �� (@KylePlantEmoji) August 19, 2020
Mind If I have a sniff ??— Marty (@martymoogle) August 18, 2020
I need a cigarette ��— Theodore (@FredNietzky) August 18, 2020
mrs klobuchar, would you say sonic's feet should be flesh colored or blue like the rest of his body? his arms are flesh colored so i think it would only make sense to make his soles match his flesh. pic.twitter.com/0vv8NsHjsG— Mohammad (@WongKarWax) August 18, 2020
Her silence on the Sonic question speaks volumes.
A foot fetish is about as common a kink as there is—dare I say, a mainstream kink. So it’s no surprise that this photo got the attention it did. Foot photos of celebrities and politicians are regularly gathered on the popular site wikiFeet, where people can even vote on foot quality. (That’s democracy, baby!)
Yeah I’d say a 4 is reasonable pic.twitter.com/aH9vtMCp8M— The Tony Simprano (@Sticky_Llama) August 18, 2020
In fact, Amy Klobuchar has her own official wikiFeet page with a positive rating of four our of five stars—a score some (me) would say is a bit generous. I mean, we haven’t even seen her toes yet, let alone what her tootsies would look like crushing Jello.
Klobuchar’s not the only elected official who's caught the eye of foot connoisseurs. Another acclaimed four-star-foot-rated politician, Kamala Harris, was even featured as wikiFeet’s “Feet of the Week.” And when a foot pic believed to belong to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was widely circulated in 2019, a wikiFeet investigation sleuthed out the truth that these much-ogled feet were not in fact AOC’s.
So many questions remain. Did Klobuchar pose for this photo? Who took it? Was it during the speech? Why was it taken? Why was it posted? I sense a lot of decisions were made here. And this leads us to an assumption so bold yet so obvious only Twitter is willing to make it.
Amy is angling for the foot guy vote— v-word (@otter_weekend) August 18, 2020
And then there's the advice only Twitter is willing to give.
Get an onlyfans and you’ll RAKE in the dough for your reelection campaign with content like that— Lenny Leonard (@WWNLennyLeonard) August 19, 2020
Yes, maybe there’s a good reason Amy’s little piggies have not yet come into public view. Maybe she’s saving the good stuff to post behind a paywall. Could Senator Klobuchar be leveraging feet pics in an effort to save the U.S. Postal Service? Medicare for All, the Green New Deal, student loan forgiveness—are free-spending foot fetishists the untapped source of funding that will make these progressive dreams a reality? Stranger things have happened.