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My neighbor’s man-jam playlist, as heard through my apartment wall

Getty

Getty

I live in an old apartment with thin walls. My neighbors are mostly quiet, but when one of us has a party, we can all can hear it.

One neighbor has a weekly date with his guy friends. From what I can tell through the wall, it sounds like they’re playing video games while listening to Spotify through Alexa. For a good two hours on Friday night, I can hear them shouting things like “Fuck!” and “No, dawg!”

The shouting grabs my attention, but it’s the tunes they blast that really pull me into their party, forcing me to listen to them and nothing else. Their taste is… eclectic.

Here’s what I heard through the ceiling this weekend.

Kenny Loggins, “Danger Zone”

Right on. This Top Gun anthem is an obvious choice for anyone who is getting ready to play a war- or battleground-style video game. The night is young, and there is much out there that needs to be shot. Friendship is like fighter jets: Everyone wants and needs them.

Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”

Huh, this one is unexpected. I can hear them singing along, too. Maybe Celine Dion’s Titanic hit is like their “Ride of the Valkyries” moment from Apocalypse Now.

Drax/Hailee Steinfeld, “Woke Up Late”

This I had to Shazam. It sounds catchy though. I might have to re-listen later.

Stevie Wonder, “Evil”

I can get behind this one.

Justin Bieber, “Baby”

The liquor is obviously kicking in and things are taking a turn for the sloppy. Why guys, why?

Backstreet Boys, “I Want It That Way”

Whew. They killed the Biebs tune for an early ‘00s classic. They’re singing along as well, as any good millienial should.

That “Abercrombie and Fitch” song from the early ‘00s.

I’m not even going to Google who sings this one. You know what song I'm talking about.

Lou Bega, “Mambo #5”

I feel like they’re trolling me at this point.

The Click Five, “Just the Girl”

Another one I had to Shazam. According to a Facebook friend of mine, this is “a jam.”

Beyoncé, “Halo”

The night is winding down, and the men have turned to Beyoncé. Presumably my neighbor has turned the lights up and is trying to tell everyone to go home.

It’s been quiet for the last 30 minutes. Props to these dudes for ending their party at a considerate hour. Until next week, neighbor.