We baptized quite a few public restrooms in Minneapolis in our search for the best. Thankfully, our task was somewhat simplified by restroomratings.com, a web page that must serve as further evidence that anything that exists in the real world will eventually be digitized and commented upon on the world wide web. They seemed particularly impressed by the restroom at Cosmos and declared it "the gold standard of public restrooms," but we found it, like the rest of the restaurant, both gaudy and twee. They were also quite taken with the bathroom at Lakeview Cemetery, but we disqualified that one as not being sufficiently public; after all, you're not likely to swing by the boneyard for a cocktail anytime soon. It wasn't until we wandered into the bathroom at Ike's that we found the public restroom that truly meets out exact standards. Understated yet classy, this restroom mixes brushed steel ultramodern plumbing with subdued tiling. For those who can't stand to go a minute without checking the score of the current sporting event, Ike's has placed flat-screen televisions above their urinals. Other local bathrooms have similar televisions, but use them for advertising purposes, which tends to feel a little intrusive—after all, when we're home, we go to the toilet to get away from commercials. Ike's restrooms also feature tile floors (with the words "P-Nice" inset) and, for the luxury minded, genuine cotton towels. Best still, the restrooms are immaculate and free of offensive odors, which, half a block off Hennepin, is something of a miracle; you can actually duck in off the streets into a restaurant restroom to get away from the smell of urine.

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