When KSTP anchor Cyndy Brucato returned to the Hubbard-owned KSTP-TV in late 2004, many Twin Citians didn't greet her smiling visage enthusiastically. In fact, the highway billboard of her giant head, cocked ever so slightly to appear compassionate, became the focus of spray-paint fantasies on the now-defunct Slanderous Minneapolis blog. But no amount of graffiti mustaches and devil horns could compete with the anchor's most recent makeover. From the looks of Brucato's current mug, a bottle of black Krylon has nothing on the foiling wand and what appears to be a mighty Botox syringe. A Google image search of Brucato reveals only one pre-cleanup picture, whose untamed eyebrows, Folgers-colored hair, and eyes of fire appeared in this very paper in October of 2004. The extreme scarcity of before pics could lead one to believe that Brucato's after face has almost completely erased the old one—just like on Days of Our Lives. After all, women delivering the news need to look like everyone's phony, powder-smelling, vitamin-selling aunt from suburban Denver, right? If only the male news anchors were required to undergo such a drastic metamorphosis for the sake of ratings—maybe then we'd get KSTP's Joe Schmit to frost his tips. Because isn't the same news so much more interesting when it's delivered by a Tom Arnold lookalike circa 1995—or a woman who resembles your annoying aunt?