The Mall of America published a video advertisement at 10:00 a.m. Friday morning.
Judging by the number of comments and shares the video's generated already, it is very upsetting.
If you've got a single cell still functioning in that shell of a body you insist on sliding around in on the surface of the Earth, this video is going to make you SO MAD!
Here are some reasons why:
1.) Because the very sight of someone walking while texting makes hairs stand up on the back of your neck and in places you swore the doctor said the hairs would never grow back.
2.) Because you hate nothing more than realizing you're in the way of someone who's in a hurry, and your secondhand discomfort at seeing such situations play out has driven you back into the welcoming arms of whatever street drugs you can find and afford by end of day.
3.) Because CROWDS! *Pulls blinds even tighter, orders next five weeks' worth of toilet paper from Amazon.com*
4.) Because why would anyone make the effort to get to a giant megamall filled with chain stores when you could find any of the stuff you want from a local Twin Cities store. One without a color-, state- or mascot-themed parking garage.
5.) Because you actually can't judge someone for looking at their phone. As far as you know, they just got a text breaking up with them or a breaking news alert about the second-to-last season of Game of Thrones, or a Facebook friend just shared a crazy-popular new video from the Mall of America.
6.) Because for the love of God, people, it's March 31, and you're beginning to realize that some day soon, you'll have to spend whole weeks wary of April Fools' jokes versus real news...and that someday not long after that, you won't care enough to try to tell them apart.
Watch the Mall of America's video below. We promise you'll just absolutely hate it!